"That is the best-written piece of advice regarding suicide I have ever read!! Thank you for being that brave, it is hard to write from the soul like this."




After my husband died by suicide, something inside of me whispered that I needed to write my grief. I had an inner calling to be a writer since I was a very young girl. I became a writer the day that my knees hit the floor from the pain of my husband's death. Writing through my grief has healed me in so many ways. Grief can be inspiring. It inspires us to get the hell up, dust ourselves off, and live the life that we are meant to live. It inspires us to not live in the past but stare straight into tomorrow with determination in our hearts. 



I write about grief, widowhood, parenting, spirituality, mental health, suicide and moving forward and finding "new" life, joy, and purpose after a loss. 


I have taken down my original blog (November 2015-April 2017) on blogger.com because I am working on a project with those 100 blog entries. All of my new blog posts are now on this website. 





"I repair broken lighthouses with words." 





"Intensely, and so knowledgeable, expressed. You are a beacon to those of us who are genuinely well-intentioned and sympathetic but can never be empathetic. You are quite something Miss Nik." 



"Thank you for your honesty, especially to your daughter. Sugar is for tea, not grief. I don’t seek to heal mine either. Singularly heartbreaking and beautiful. She speaks the truth...eloquently."-The Grief Maven 


"Hi Nik, you may never read this but I have just read your post about your husband. It broke my heart and left me in tears. I am so sorry for your loss and that of your children. Your plea to think about your children and what you leave behind could not be more timely for me. I have five beautiful children and I am fighting a silent battle in my mind every single day. I'm fighting to find value in I'm existence. I'm fighting to stay alive. I love my babies more than anything in this world but I often question my value. Please never forget that your husband loves you and your babies. im sorry for your loss but in honor of your husband and your bravery I will seek the help I need to believe in myself again. Not a person on the planet would know of my daily struggle to stay alive but I will seek help and I will fight for my babies. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you"


"You deserve everything you wish for in life for your post about your daughter and the loss of her dad. It was moving, poignant and absolutely 100% correct. I've been in the same situation myself with depression but was fortunate to be stopped from ending my life by a phone call as I attempted to hang myself 3 years ago. Your post made more sense than anything I've read since that time. I'm perfectly happy now because I was lucky to have people like yourself around me. I wanted you to know this about me because your story moved me so much."


"This is so True!! Thank you for writing this!!! It means so much to someone who fights depression!! Sometimes you see that someone else may write or say things that you feel, and then you think maybe?? just maybe someone sees what you yourself struggle with, even if it’s for a moment!!!" 


"Man becomes great in precisely the degree he works for the welfare of his fellow man... "Make me a channel of YOUR peace!" Nik you are clearly blessed with the gift of enlightenment and the wherewithal to reflect it back out to others." 



Published Online



Nik is a contributor on The Mighty since 2016. This is a place where she will publish articles that dive deep into the topics of suicide and mental health. 







Nik is a contributor to The Grief Toolbox. This is a place where she will share poetry, articles, and grief artwork created by her and her children.






Nik and her children are featured on Family Trails









"Reading sad things or writing of difficult topics doesn't always just bring more sadness, they bring wisdom and truth and can light a fire in someone's soul. They also help create empathy and understanding. And it doesn't seem right when seeing this statement as text, but you are changing people, giving wisdom and truth and lighting a fire in people's souls sharing your family's story with grief. I pray this process gives your mind and heart a chance to unload and your soul a little more healing - You're a great writer." 


"God sent me to your page today and I just wanted to thank you. Because I have found encouragement from you to keep fighting for my life and to be whom I need to be for my family. Thank you for pouring your energy into helping others like me who can hardly help themselves find strength in this world. You are a light in the darkness that has somehow filled my life and I am thankful to have found you. You are an angel!"








"Thank you for your courageous, raw, and unselfish post. You are priceless in a world full of broken-hearted people, shining your light." 



"For whatever the reason. I won't try to pick one. But whenever I read your posts, it's more than just reading words from somebody I have never met before. Every single word. It's just as though I really hear you and through that begin to hear me too."


Copyright Nik Bonkoski 2020

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