I want to tell others that God sees all of our "stuff".....good, glorious, and ugly....and looks at us and says, "Hey, Want to go get a burger?" Which means? You are loved....always...and completely and unconditionally.
You are loved and you can move forward.
It's your turn to move forward, dear one.
The last 3 years for me was about letting go and packing up and moving away from the strangling pain....
3 years ago I fell-in-love....stepped into a new love story with someone who treats me in a way that no other man ever has.
I fell-in-love...something I never thought would be possible for me. Something others told me I wasn't allowed to do as a widowed woman.
2019 was about shedding the past.
It was the year of new-beginnings in my heart.
The rubble that someone else left me in? I stepped away from it. I sold my house and moved. Moved to a new town where I can truly start a new chapter. Somewhere free from dark memories of funeral casseroles for dinner.
2019 was the year that I got married to a man who I have known since I was 18-years old. A man who understands my quiet nature and my wild heart, too.
Dearest friends,
Some things happen for a reason and some do not and I am no longer looking at my past with a magnifying glass trying to figure out which one each event in my life was.
The past can't own you anymore.
Not anymore.
Not if you want to breathe.
Not if you want to embrace the bubbling happy and content feeling you feel each morning when you wake up.
We go through all of that pain and struggle and we must allow ourselves the reward......healing. Healing is the reward. Laughing again, falling-in-love, and buying ourselves flowers is the reward for all of the years we spent buried in the rubble.
So, friends?
I want to write about love.
I want to write romantic poetry and stories about nature.
I want to help others through their trauma and grief with my writings of hope.
I desire to write about God coming into my darkness and handing me a lit candle.
I want to tell others that God sees all of our "stuff".....good, glorious, and ugly....and looks at us and says, "Hey, Want to go get a burger?" Which means? You are loved....always...and completely and unconditionally.
In 2019 I wore a white dress and I moved forward. And I didn't ask anyone's permission. And putting the "sold" sign in the yard of my old house felt freeing and not sad.
Life is joy and pain and we have to learn to embrace and live through both.
Allow yourself to move forward.
Allow yourself to heal.
Does time heal all wounds? No....and some...yes.
Build a new castle out of all of that rubble and decorate your soul with flowers.
Move forward. Take the leap into your new story. God will be there waiting for you.
Love always, Nik
Leave me a tip to say 'thank you' for my writing if it helps your heart. God bless you! Your loving support helps me keep my writing 100% online so it is free and accessible to everyone. I answer hundreds of messages each week and your support helps me to help others. Thank you!
https://venmo.com/nikki-bonkoski
If you are looking for grief support or spiritual life coaching...Contact me on my "Meet Nik" page. And, friend? Reach out. I'm always here waiting to wrap you in warmth and hope.