I want to tell you something I have learned over the course of my life.
Something I have learned through my life experience, my trauma, my healing work.....my reading of piles upon piles of books.
We all live too much in the past.
And we know it.
And we don't know how to break free.
I don't have all the answers, dear friends.
Each of our journeys are completely unique to us.
We have so much to learn from the past. We learn about why we are the way we are......whether that's why we have anxiety, why we are a perfectionist, why we are afraid to deeply connect with other humans.......and so on. The past tells us a story of who we are today and our minds love this...love to hyper focus on the past because it's all our minds have to go on...what we already know and have already been through.
We could spend our entire lifetimes analyzing the past, going to hours upon hours of talk therapy, reading all the books on this topic and still? And still not be fully healed. And still have issues with our past.
And still have dark days. And still feel like a big mess in some moments. And still not fully understand why we are the way we are or why certain things happened in our lives.
So my challenge for you? Or better yet...the challenge you should give to yourself?
Set down the past once-in-awhile. Live for today. You don't have to be healing and learning every single day. Let yourself enjoy life! Let yourself rest! Have some fun! Get outdoors! Enjoy time with your family and friends!
Don't allow the past to control so much of your life. Yes, learn from it and then set it down and make the choice of what type of person you want to be today. Is that hard work? Yes. It's maybe one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life. But it's your choice every single day to say, "Yes, I am often too judgmental of others because of my past but today....I'm not going to judge anyone." Or "Yes, I'm always trying to make myself and everything around me perfect because for some reason my past taught me to hustle for love. I don't need to strive for unattainable perfection. I am fully loved just as I am in this exact moment even if this moment is messy."
We could spend our entire lives looking in the rearview mirror trying to learn and study the past or we can flip that mirror up and focus on the road we are on today. It's your choice, friends. The past only has power over us if we allow it to and yes, I know it's power is dang strong but you? You are stronger.
Choose happy.
Choose content.
Choose bravery.
Choose new adventures and new roads and new stories.
You get this one beautiful life. Why spend it looking backwards?
You get this one beautiful life as this version of your amazing soul. You get to make the choice...every...single...morning...about what kind of person you want to be today.
Soak in the sunshine.
Learn from your past....yes, please learn, do the hard healing work, and then set down your heavy load of books and run wild and free.
Set the intention to love everybody....always.
Even if you don't want them in your life.. Even if you cross the street to avoid them.
Love always, Nik
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If you are looking for grief support or spiritual life coaching...Contact me on my "Meet Nik" page. And, friend? Reach out. I'm always here waiting to wrap you in warmth and hope.