It's not your job to be likable.
It's not my job to be likable.
I used to worry so much about what other people thought about me. What other people thought about my healing journey. What other people thought about my writing. What other people thought about me when they met me in person and did I live up to their expectations and ideas.
You know what?
It's not our job to be likable.
When you have been through extreme trauma like I have......often, your self-esteem is knocked down a few levels. Your nervous system is always acting up and making you afraid. You forget who God made you to be and you start to believe that what others say about you is the entire truth of who you are.
Let me tell you....
God says who you are.
And you follow that, friend.
I cannot possibly chase people around who talk behind my back, who don't like my writing, who have the wrong idea about me because of their own trauma or because of them not actually knowing my entire story even though they think that they do. I cannot chase these people down and make them understand me. Make them understand why I am the way I am and why I write the way that I do and why I live my life the way that I live it.
It's not my job.
My job is to be my whole and entire authentic self and to follow the calling that God has put onto my life. My job is to always be kind and warm-hearted, loving and compassionate, brave and radically myself. My job is to step into the fullness of who I am. My job is to protect my healing, my heart, my mental health, and my children. It is not my job to protect what other people think of me....good or bad. Others perception of us is only that....their perception. It isn't always the truth. I know the content of my character and that I strive every single day to give my heart to the world while protecting my own life. I know that if the people I loved called me tonight and needed me? I'd run to be with them. I also know that I have the responsibility as a writer to write the truth and to do it with compassion and love and authenticity. To write with a deep undercurrent of kindness. And yet...it's not up to me what people take from my words. That's their responsibility. Often...we view others writing and words and social media posts through the lens of our own struggles and pain and wants.
Friends, let go of what others say about you.
Let go of worrying if others are talking about you.
I know how hard it is.
I put my heart and my story and my words and my life out into the world and I know that will come with judgement. But it's not mine to fix. It's not mine to carry.
I don't except people to understand the calling God gave me.
I don't except people to fully understand all that I have been through and how it changed me and how I have a duty.....a duty...to share my heart with the world no matter what.
Protect your peace.
Protect your mental wellness.
For way too long I allowed what others may think of me to rule my life on certain occasions. I've allowed it to sometimes stop me from writing. I've sometimes....allowed it to stop me from sharing parts of my life that I'm very passionate about. I've allowed it to keep me away from certain towns and certain places. But whatever my reputation is with some people? That's only who they think that I am. That's not my actual true character. I give them grace. If they don't give it back to me? That's ok. That's OK. I keep living forward and I keep being ME.
There are always going to be people out there that don't forgive us, that don't understand us, that don't know our full story but think that they do. There will always be people who don't see things from our point of view and they don't have to.
Let them go. Let it be. You'll be happier and freer if you do.
And friend? That's means love yourself, too.
Love yourself enough to know that God sees you.
God sees who you truly are.
Love yourself enough to understand and believe that it is not your job to be likable.
It's your job to be YOU.
Love always, Nik
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