We will all struggle at some point in our lives but only a few of us will struggle through the unimaginable.
Rising above struggle is a constant choice.
It's your choice.
It's a choice you make every second, every minute, everyday...for the rest of your life.
The day that my first husband shot himself …September 10, 2015…I had thousands of dollars of flowers arriving at my home the next morning for a wedding I was to be the florist for. That day while my world was crumbling around me, my heart was on fire, and my soul wanted to go jump off the bluff..........I had to make the choice to hold it together and make the endless phone calls to figure out another florist who would take over the work for that wedding. People told me to forget it, to let it go, that it didn't matter.....but it mattered to me. It mattered to me not to ruin someone else's fairytale day just because my mine was dead.
Rising above is a choice.
Is it an easy choice? I'm not going to sugar coat it for you. I'm not going to make it seem like it's simple. Rising above our struggles is often more painful than the initial thing that put us into that struggle in the first place. We have to choose ourselves. Choose life. Choose to take the paths and the roads that will lead us up out of that dirt hole that we feel we are living in.
I have risen up out of my own dirt hole. I have been helping others for almost 9 years with my writing and free support groups. It’s taken me…YEARS...of telling myself over and over that I am still worthy of a beautiful life. Days of telling myself to hold on, to hang on, to keep going and to not turn out the lights on my life. Days of struggle and some of those days I wanted to say.........forget it. Billions of seconds of breathing through the anxiety, the depression, and choosing to make small steps to move my life up out of that hole.
Rising above struggle is a choice.
How do we rise up out of that struggle?
We choose hope.
We look for joy.
We remember that humans are resilient.
We look ourselves in the mirror every single day and we say, "You are not what happened to you. This does not define you." And we do this until we believe it. We cry through it. We scream when it's all we feel like we can do. We lie on our cold bathroom floors and wail until one day we get up off that floor and we walk out into the sunshine and we choose to decide where we go from here.
Inside of my years of struggle I have wanted to give up. I have thought that there must be some karmic reason that I deserved this tragedy. I have felt worthless, unlovable, and like a piece of garbage. But second by second, minute by minute, day by day, month by month, and now year by year...........I have chosen to share my story, my pain, my shame, my fears, and my brokenness and by doing so it has given me the strength and the courage to slowly, ever so slowly rise up out of my struggles. I found God within my storm and that one truth and the grace and love I feel keeps me grounded on this earth in the knowing that I am here for a reason and I am going to stay and live out that reason.
Every single day that I wake up alive and healthy with a roof over my head........I choose to rise. I choose to find my new path. I choose to reach out to others to give my life purpose where I once felt there was none.
Rising above our struggles is a choice and it's hard. It's a hard choice but you know what? It's possible.
You can rise above your struggles.
You can choose to turn right into the sunshine and not left into the darkness.
It's your choice. No one can do it for you but you can reach out to others who have been there, who are there....so that you don't feel alone, so that you have support on your awful days, so that you know that you are human and your struggle does not define you.
You define you.
All my endless love & dedication-
Nik
September is Suicide Awareness Month. Thank you for sharing my words, my heart, to help anyone out there in the dark who needs it.
Suicide Awareness: https://www.nikbonkoski.com/suicideawareness
Leave me a tip if my writing and 9 years of dedication to writing about suicide helps your heart: https://www.nikbonkoski.com/thankyou
My Grief Healing e-book: https://www.nikbonkoski.com/grief-e-book
My FREE Facebook Support Groups. I am a certified grief support specialist and the only admin of these super helpful and loving groups that I started in 2017. I hope inside of these global communities you find healing, friendship, knowledge, and buckets of hope & shining LOVE.
The Brave Ladies Club: Support for women who lost spouse/partner to suicide.
Women only age 18 and up.
Manhood Untamed: Men's mental health support group:
Men only age 18 and up.
Grief Untamed: Grief support group for any and all death related grief. Women and men ages 18 and up.
If you are struggling with your own mental health, life's hardships, or suicidal thoughts please make a call. Here is a list of suicide and crisis hotlines wordwide.
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish.
Toll-free European number, 00800-1273-TALK (8255).
Lifeline Australia
Call 13-11-14
Global Suicide & Crisis Hotlines
BEAUTIFUL COMMENTS ON MY WRITING. THANK YOU!!!
"Wow. This is beautiful. Nik, thank you for telling your story, because of you, millions are able to share stories just like this one. I got the chills reading this. I hope you know how important you are in this world, and I don’t even know you and I can see that from afar."
"The most powerful thing I have ever read. Thank you Nik ❤ This world is so much better, because you're in it. You are literally saving lives, I guarantee it."
And reach out, dear one. I am here and I care about you, your heart, and your story. I answer all of your messages, emails. All of them. Always.
September 10th is World Suicide Prevention/Awareness Day
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