There is something that happens to a person when they have not just experienced great horror, loss, trauma, and tragedy but also heard these stories from people every single day for going on six years.
I hear countless stories that people privately share with me. I am very aware that most people would not want to or be able to hear these stories every day. They would want to block out the hurt and horror of the world and live in their own bubble. And that's ok. I understand. Am I special? I don't think so. God gave me this calling and I accept. To go running to anyone in need of my wisdom, my words, or a hug and it doesn't matter if they are young or old or if they live in my town or across the oceans. It doesn't matter if we agree on everything or if they have said my work and writing is junk in the past. I'm running to them anyways.
I practice the belief that nothing anyone says about you is about you. I've learned too much psychology and heard too many human stories to think differently.
We are all human.
We all have our stories.
We all have our history, our past........our own pain.
Is saying to "love everybody always" naive? Is it looking at life through rose colored glasses? It is childish or pointless? No. It's a choice. A choice to realize that none of us came to this earth with a manual on how to be a good person, how to get through suffering, how to fight off dark demons, how to rise above and be the better person. We are all trying our best and some days our best is total crap. That's just the honest truth. And we don't at all have to agree with or like each other. But we can keep cruel words to ourselves, we can agree to disagree, we can for 5 seconds put ourselves in anothers shoes and then maybe stay there a few seconds longer if our mind goes right back to the thought that, "But.....I'm right, they are wrong. I'm good, they are bad."
Something happens to a person when they hear thousands, thousands of human stories of suffering. It completely transforms the way that you view the world.
Stories of suicide loss.
Stories of people's spouses taking their life right in front of them on the couch, on a Monday, while watching the news.
Stories of children finding their Dad took his life in the garage and they found him after school.
Stories of people becoming homeless with their children.
Stories of people struggling with mental health and they have no finances or health insurance.
Stories of people being kicked to the street by their own family.
Stories of childhood abuse, sexual abuse, sexual assault, rape,
Stories of people's children dying, their babies dying.
Stories that will grab into your chest and pull out your heart.
There is so much suffering in the world and one word or action from us can destroy or uplift someone's day, their life.
There are people right now pacing back and forth in their living room with a handgun in their hands. They are contemplating leaving this earth because they feel unloved, or they lost their job, or the voices are too loud in their head, or someone said hateful and cruel things about them on the internet. I know this because some of the ones that make it through? They tell me their story.
Be mindful of your words.
Be a kind and loving human.
Forgive people over and over. Why? Because we all need it. Because if we keep walking around with our battles and our opinions and our closed off hearts then the world will continue to be cold and brutal in so many places.
I know too much to judge people.
I've heard too many stories to not just love everybody.....always. Even if you can't be in my daily life...even if I cross the street when I see you.
You've abandoned me? Gossiped about me? Spread hateful rumors behind my back? Then I will still genuinely smile at you and send you so much love and healing because I know none of that has anything to do with me personally and everything to do with your own wounds that you are not tending to.
Just love people.
Just be kind.
It's not naive.
It's life and life is cruel.
Love is all there is at the end of your life.
It's all you'll have when your brain has it's final 7 minutes of activity. Your brain, your mind will review all the love it felt in your lifetime. It will review your mother holding you, your children smiling at you, your friend high fiving you, and it will review that stranger that bought you a coffee or gave your child some free clothing when you had no money, or the person on the internet that stood up for you and sent you love and hugs when others told you to sit down and shut up and not share your truth.
I'm going to spend my life hearing these stories.
And I also hear beautiful stories of bravery, triumph, and overcoming.
Someday maybe these stories will go into an anyonymous book that will be called, "How to heal the world."
Because you cannot heal the world, you cannot be authentically loving and kind to people you don't like or agree with until you understand that we are all human, we all hurt, we all bleed, we all have been broken and we are all loved fully and completely by God.
Go love someone today exactly how they are.
Wish the ones who have hurt you healing.
Take the time to hear someone's story if they offer it up.
Extend them a hug.
Open up your gates you have built around your heart and dig deep for your compassion.
Don't go looking for your purpose....BE your purpose.
Don't go looking for love.....BE love.
Wake up everyday and say "YES" to God's calling on your life.
Love always, Nik
Writer, Grief Support Specialist, Christian Spiritual Mentor
Leave me a tip to say 'thank you' for my writing if it helps your heart. God bless you! Your loving support helps me keep my writing and loving ministry 100% online so it is free and accessible to everyone. www.paypal.me/niktebbe
I am moving all of my writing off of social media to my blog. I hope you continue to follow along. I will now be posting my writing and loving ministry only here in this beautiful and sacred space. This is a step forward in my journey of ministering to hearts around the globe. I love you, dear ones. If you need to reach out? Please, do so here by emailing me and not on my social media pages. I'm here for you always. I'll never leave you to row the boat alone. Reach out, I care about you. Reach out, you aren't really alone. Reach out, I'm waiting here for you with a warm hug and my words of wisdom, friendship, and love. Thank you and God bless. xoxo email@example.com
Beautiful messages from people who follow my writing:
"Beautiful testimony. It took me over 15 years to stop and listen to God after we lost my brother. I was on a rollercoaster of angry, upset, confused, hurt... for a LONG time. Your words have far reaching consequences Nik that you will probably not ever learn about in this lifetime and I’m so grateful for your ministry."
"Nik, I want you to know your page has been the biggest eye opener to my life. I look forward to seeing your page and reading your uplifting posts. It's reminds me to keep on keeping on. I truly respect you and your ability to be vulnerable with strangers. It's inspiring to see you use your pain and suffering, to reach out to others. I aspire to be half the person you are one day."
"Nik, You help me to fight the demons inside... Thank you!
Your strength is inspirational and courageous!"