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It's only heavy if you carry it.


It's only heavy if you carry it.

There are some events that happen in our lives that change us from the inside out.

Sometimes....we carry that load and we make it look so easy to others. And we want to scream, "Just because I carry it well doesn't mean it isn't heavy."

We want to yell this because they cannot see what goes on behind the scenes of our life.

We long to yell this because, friends? Trauma isn't something that only happened in the past....it lives inside of us. It stays in our nervous system and it longs to be acknowledged and given love.

The past burns.

The past is a heavy load to carry.

We might not be able to heal all of our trauma since it literally lives inside of our bodies but we can set down the past and walk forward.

It's only heavy if you carry it.

You don't have to carry certain aspects of your pain and your story along with you on the road.

You are free to set it down.

You are free to stop talking about it.

You are free to build a new life.

You can choose who you surround yourself with.


It's only heavy if you carry it.

The heavy parts?

Set them down on the side of the road and leave them there.


There's so much about our painful past that we carry with us and it just plays over and over in our minds. There is no fixing the past or making it different. It's heavy because it doesn't belong on your back anymore, dear friends.

I carried so much of my painful story with me for so long. Until one day.......I heard God say, "Set down the load, dear child. It's only heavy because you carry it."

Friends, you are not what happened to you....you are not what others did to you. You are not broken or unlovable because someone abandoned you. You can set down some of that load and you can build a beautiful new life. Set down the parts that are too heavy to carry.......tell others your story so they can see the load you carry.


I send you my extra prayers every single day.

I pray that you heal from things you will never get an apology for. I know what it feels like to not get an apology after something knocked you down so low....you almost didn't survive. You don't need that apology to move forward in your life. That apology doesn't carry your healing.

Set it down.

It's only heavy if you carry it.

All my endless love and dedication.

Your friend, Nik


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♥️🌹


For over 7 years my blog, social media, and support groups have remained FREE (and ad-free). It takes me hundreds of hours a month to research, write, and sustain my work. Your support really matters. If you find any value in what I do, please consider becoming a sustaining patron with a recurring monthly donation of your choosing, between a cup of coffee and a good book. You can also become a spontaneous supporter with a one-time donation in any amount. Your beautiful donation helps me keep my writing and loving ministry 100% online so it's accessible and free-of-charge to everyone around the world.


Reach out, dear one! I’m here and I care about you. I answer all private message and emails. Your story, your struggles, and pain matter to me. You matter to me. My FREE Facebook support groups: Grief Untamed The Brave Ladies Club Manhood Untamed


Contact me via if you are interested in: Spiritual Life Coaching or Grief Support. I am a certified coach who is here to help you sort through your struggles, make a plan, and live forward with grace. I can teach you: resiliency, mindfulness, and how to navigate through anxiety, stress, and overwhelm in your everyday life. I can guide you on how to live your life from a place of grounded authenticity. I can tell you my personal story of how God rescued me out of the dark and how I personally use God's teachings and love to help me in my everyday life as a Mom, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Friend, Writer, and Spiritual Mentor. I will never push my personal beliefs or truths onto you. I will lovingly hold your hand while you find your own. My highly intuitive nature knows how to cater my loving guidance and teachings specifically to you and your personality and beliefs. I have deep compassion, empathy, and love for everybody.....always. Contact me here: https://www.nikbonkoski.com/connect



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