When you are widowed at a young age you learn to carry.
The grief.
The silence.
The loneliness.
The groceries.
You learn to juggle.
The finances.
The lawn.
The stares.
You learn to fix.
Your own heart.
The leaky faucet.

And if you haven't been widowed young or haven't had the universe rip the rug out from under you and force you to want to die and yet have to choose to live?
Then you may think that what people like me write isn't for you but sad prose and poetry? It's for everyone. It will teach you in ways that a manual or novel or class could never do. It touches a place that exists within all of us. Way deep inside of your mind? No. Your soul.

My book isn't about widowhood or suicide, grief or depression or at least those exact words aren't inside of it even though those things that I experienced are what made the words flow out of me like water.
It's a book about LIFE.
It's about touching the thorns and still seeing the beauty of the bloom.
It's something you will hopefully return to over and over in your life to uplift you, remind you, teach you.

 

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Reviews I have received on my book! 

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"This prose poetry book offers invaluable heart wisdom. Keep a copy close by, purchase additional ones to leave on picnic and coffee shop tables for strangers to discover, or gift one to a friend. These uplifting words will illuminate your path during challenging times and help you feel less isolated in this vast universe. Within these pages lie messages that every person needs to hear: You are worthy. You are enough. You are loved."

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"I just read your book. Congratulations, it is beautiful. Thank you for putting pen to paper and publishing it."

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"The reason I am so in love with your book is I know how much it took to create something that bares your heart and soul- I’ve seen and witnessed your journey along the way and you’ve NEVER thrown in the towel, not that you’ve never wanted to I’m sure, but you haven’t! and that takes not only guts- but a connection and devotion to something so much bigger.  I truly cherish your heart spilled words and I smile and get warm fuzzies every time I see it on my coffee table and I just got it today!" 

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"Thanks Nikki Bonkoski for all your hours, your dedication. Your healing power, your words, your prayers, your praise. The sharing of your life and for sharing your pain."

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"GHOST Confetti is the new book that makes me feel less alone in my grief process. I just finished reading it, twice! The first time, I read it through tears on most every page! The second time, I highlighted nuggets of Nikki's clarity and wisdom because I know I will be referring to it often and for a long time ahead. She has taken an unimaginable, unbearable, & unspeakable tragedy in her family's life, felt all the feelings, poured out her pain and loss in constructive ways, and has gone on to build a rich and beautiful life. Some of the feelings have no appropriate human words that can even begin to convey the emotions felt, yet Nikki has poured out her love and loss onto each page. She has spoken hope into my similarly broken heart. It's rich in modern day imagery and language that hits you in your soul. Some of the thoughts she penned that resonated most loudly with me include: "Ghosts of the future that was stolen from you and rewritten." "Go towards anything that makes you feel ALIVE." "Let yourself rest and let yourself be happy. Let yourself trust new people." (I'm really trying, Nik!!) Thank you to this talented wordsmith author from my home state, who found the words to accurately describe a broken heart, yet leaves you inspired that life can still be beautiful! This is an excellent, quick read, and has helped me more in my grief journey than any other books I have read. Do NOT miss this, there is help and encouragement here for virtually any kind of loss you can think of; I will be buying copies for friends currently undergoing loss through divorce, loss of parents, and the disconnection that sometimes occurs in life when loved ones suddenly have no time for you. Loss is loss, but healing is attainable. Get this book!"

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