Nikki Bonkoski
I am the Founder of The Brave Ladies Club. The support group I longed for nine years ago didn’t exist when I found myself awake in the middle of the night after my late husband died by suicide, searching for help online with the words "my husband killed himself and I need help." In response to this gap, I returned to school to become a grief support specialist, ultimately creating the group so that other women would never have to experience the profound loneliness I felt.
Hello, my name is Brave.
Actually, my name is Nikki, but my close friends call me Nik. In 2015, after my first husband took his own life, I had to discover my inner bravery to continue my journey. So, what is The Brave Ladies Club? It is a private Facebook group designed for women aged 18 to 100 who have lost a spouse or partner to suicide.
This club serves as a sanctuary where we can uplift one another, navigate our challenges together, and connect with women who truly understand the unique experience of being a survivor. We will share advice, healing, our stories, and create a safe environment to express our truths. Please note that negativity, hate, and graphic details regarding suicide are not allowed and will be removed. Any members engaging in bashing or harsh judgment of others will also be removed from the group.
Kindness, love, and support are essential here. You are safe among women who have also lost their significant other to suicide. Membership is limited to those I add personally, ensuring that this remains a place filled with love and light, free from darkness and trolling.
Be mindful of what you share, especially personal information. While everyone can see your name, you’re not required to disclose other family members' names or your location if you prefer to keep that private. I will monitor the group daily, but I trust that as grown women, we can maintain a loving and kind atmosphere without constant moderation.
Be mindful. Be kind. Be loving. Spread light.
This group is exclusively for women who have lost a spouse or partner to suicide. If you have lost a brother, friend, or father, I encourage you to join my other support group, Grief Untamed, where you will find ample love and support.
Are you still living through their suicide?
Then you are one Brave Lady.
While I wish you didn't have to be part of this club, I welcome you with open arms and an abundance of love.
-Nikki Bonkoski
Founder of the Brave Ladies Club
Est: 2017
Rosemount, Minnesota USA
The Brave Ladies Club Private Support Group on Facebook
I provide one-on-one support for women who have experienced the loss of a spouse or partner to suicide. As a Certified Grief Support Specialist and Spiritual Mentor, I possess extensive knowledge in trauma-informed care.
For the past seven years, I have been providing support to women like myself who have faced the tragedy of losing a spouse or partner to suicide. I see myself as both a professional and a survivor, and I believe that this dual perspective is essential for women navigating this particular type of loss.
I understand that the concept of healing can often hold many women back from moving forward. Instead of viewing healing as a destination to return to your former self, it is a gradual, lifelong journey. This journey involves discovering self-love and gentle daily practices that help navigate each day while gradually guiding you towards embracing who you are now.
It can be even more isolating to confide in a professional who has not personally faced the loss of a spouse or partner to suicide. Why is that? Because they may not grasp the complex emotions tied to this particular type of loss. The intricate feelings experienced during this journey cannot be found in any medical textbook, nor can they truly comprehend how one can endure and eventually move beyond those emotions. They simply lack that understanding. However, speaking with a fellow woman who has also lost a spouse to suicide? She understands. She truly...understands. There is a distinct form of healing that comes from talking with someone who has experienced a similar loss. It feels like finding someone who understands your language, with their words echoing profoundly in your heart in a way that no one else's can.
Often, we find ourselves repeating the same narrative, which keeps us trapped within that story rather than letting it go, accepting the present, and making an effort to re-engage with life.
You are not a broken being in need of repair. You are a wounded individual seeking a safe space to share your story and to be encouraged in discovering the woman in the mirror and her dreams for today.
Contact me here if you are in need of one-on-one support:
https://www.nikbonkoski.com/grief
Comments I have received from members of The Brave Ladies Club
"Thank you for being you and helping so many of us! This group is everything!"
"I'm so impressed that this was created and is maintained by one amazing woman. That's really inspiring. What you've created for us all.....is beyond anything I know I could thank you for. For many it's our safe space. Hats off to you...you are amazing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this group and all these wonderful women caught in a horrible place."
"This is my only safe space, and the only place where people understand me. Thank you"
"Thank you Nikki. This group has saved me. It's the only place I feel at home anymore."
"This group has been my lifeline!"
"Thank you Nikki for making this safe, supportive community for all of us!"
"Nikki, I been with you for nearly as long as you have been here. I can’t begin to tell you how many people you have brought through the worst times of our lives. I can’t thank you enough for being here for me and the others. Kind soul, I love you."
"This is the only place where I feel I'm understood. We have a language all our own!"
"Nikki, thank you from the bottom of my heart for devoting your time to this group. I don't know how I would have made it through the last 4 months if not for the stories and compassion of this group of women."
"I never knew a group like this existed until I lost my husband in June and came across it. Thank you for putting this group together and saving so many ladies. Not all hero's wear capes."
"Thank you Nikki for creating this group. I remember feeling so alone when my husband completed. This group along with other support groups has helped this journey none of us wanted to be on. I'm grateful to have been able to meet local ladies to share this journey with on a more personal level. I wouldn't know them without this group, so once again, thank you!"
"Thank you, Nikki, I followed your Facebook for a while, and then I lost my husband to suicide on 9/8. I am so glad I found this group that I never wanted to join but thankful to have."
"You are a great person and an amazing administrator. I've told so many of my friends how impressed I am on how you keep this group genuine. No trolls, no questionable people. Please continue what you do and how you do it."
"I hold this group sacred. We are all hating to even be here, are in various stages of this journey of healing, and have numerous external factors to impact us. It is with respect to each other that we keep this group close in support and love. Thank you Nikki."
"You are so freaking awesome! This is a powerful group and one of the few places/groups where I feel safe saying how I feel without fear of judgement, even if it’s a post full of rambling and going in circles."
"I thought I was alone on my journey, until I found this group. I am beyond grateful for this group, there have been many nights I wanted to give up and quit, but I instead came to this group to read and ease my mind that I wasn’t alone. Reading in this group has saved me more than once."
"Thank you for all you do. It’s a lot of work to maintain a group with a team. You do it on your own, for us. I’m so grateful."
8,200 members from across the globe
This support group started with one woman in 2017. It has grown to over 8,000 women from across the globe. This is a good and heartbreaking growth. Good because it means women who have lost a spouse/partner to suicide are getting the free support they need and deserve from the ONLY other women who understand. Bad because it means suicide is nowhere near declining in adults.