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Grief & the holidays

Dear ones,

I know that this time of year can be joyful and it can also be really lonely.

If you’re grieving..this time of year can leave you missing.

If you have anxiety you can be worrying and exhausted from all the holiday planning.

If you are depressed...this time of year can be truly awful. You might just want to stay home and be alone but your friends force you to put on some Walmart Christmas sweater and go to a party where you never speak your truth. You just smile, drink too much, and feel even worse the next day.

Take care of yourself this holiday season, dear friends.

We are all grieving something in 2022.

Everyone misses someone this season whether that person died or that person doesn’t call anymore.

The holiday season doesn’t always look or feel like a Hallmark movie. And that’s OK.

Buy your cookies & pies.

Wrap gifts with last years wrapping paper.

Play your Indie Rock music and not the holiday station if it makes you feel better.

And if you are feeling great after years of feeling awful.....rock your favorite holiday shirt, put blinking lights on your tree, and be happy. Be happy.

Yes, be grateful for your life no matter what‘s happening in it right now.

Yes, you are responsible for changing your life, healing your pain, and cleaning up the pieces that you didn’t break but you don’t have to do it all today. It takes time. And sometimes there are things, emotions, and situations that we can’t change due to finances, no support or just the fact that we are so, so tired from the storms.

But let me tell my over seven years of writing I have spoken to thousands....thousands of people from all over the world. Men, women, teenagers. And everyone has something. Something broken inside of them. Someone they miss. Some dream they are chasing but can’t quite catch.

There’s others out there that have been abandoned, taken for granted, abused, left behind.

There‘s others out there going through pain.

And there’s others out there who have been knocked down and left crying on their front steps and they write down their words so that you and others for hundreds of years will know that this is life. It’s up and down, back and forth, joy and pain and whatever you are feeling right now? Someone out there has felt the same. You aren't alone.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel...there is. Wait it out. It's there....STAY. 

Embrace the happiness when it surrounds your heart.

Be holly jolly when your soul wants to dance.

Be kind and patient with yourself when you are hurting.

And never,ever settle for less than what you deserve.

Hang close to the people that put love into action in your life.

Know that one true friend is worth more than ten “kind of” friends who never call.

I send love and blessings to your heart from my heart.

Love yourself fiercely.

Be kind to yourself always.

We are all grieving something in 2022.

We are all experiencing some sort of grief this holiday season.

We will get through this.

Not everyone gets it all, not everyone gets the fairytale or the life free of hardship. You are strong inside of your soul if you choose to be.

Never give up on or abandon your loved ones or yourself.

Be the one who stays.

Keep your light held high.

No matter what happens....keep looking up. In 2023 choose yourself. Work on your own soul. Be kind and compassionate to others. Lend a helping hand or word when you can. Protect your worth. Close the door to the past. Live for today. Get outdoors. Live content. Be grateful. Build your own table of friends and walk away from tables that don’t save you a chair. Shut down mindless social media accounts like Snapchat. Keep parts of your life private and sacred. Hug people and smile at strangers. Read more books and go on more adventures. Be who you say you are and say what you feel. Follow through on your word. Know that post-traumatic growth is real but it can’t be taught or coached into you.

Love everybody....always...even the ones you cross the street to avoid. You are loved. If you woke up today... then your life still has purpose. Make it mean something. Make it count so when you’re gone from this life you are content with the life you lived. No regrets.


Don't go looking for a cure. Look for life.

Look for a simple and ordinary life.

Simple things that breathe the extraordinary.

You don't need to be fixed or glued together or cured. You just need to be understood. You need to be loved.

You are loved, dear ones. Today...tomorrow..and always. I gift all of my extra prayers to you.

Love always, Nik

Leave me a tip to say 'thank you' for my writing if it helps your heart. God bless you! Your loving support helps me keep my writing and loving ministry 100% online so it is free and accessible to everyone.

Cash app: Nikki Bonkoski

If you would like to mail something to me: Donation, card, book, or can email me for my private address. 

**Donations are not tax deductible. They are a gift and a beautiful one. Thank you!**




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