Updated: May 1
This is a question I get asked hundreds of times a week,
"Nik, how did you move forward, fall in love, get remarried? Just...how did you do it? I can't seem to let go. I'm so angry, sad, lost. I want a new life so badly."
I'm going to get really raw with you.
Now please understand....I have a lot of followers that lost a child or a sibling or other and this helpful and raw advice is not for you. Some healing advice does have to be sorted by category.....its just the truth. The loss of a child is not the same as the loss of a spouse. The loss of a sibling is not the same either and so on and so on.
This is if you lost a partner, spouse, significant other (to death or break-up/divorce) and you are ready to move forward into a new life. You have done your healing work. You have cried all the tears, screamed all the screams. You've gone through all the stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and now you're onto: Acceptance.
How to move forward authentically? Authentically meaning you don't look back...ever?
You have to imagine that the person magically walks up your driveway. What would you do? Would your entire life go back to "before"? Are you still the person they knew? Are you? Are they still the person you thought you knew? Are they?
And when you can tell yourself that you would give them a hug, ask them how they have been, and then wish them well on their new journey? Then you are authentically ready to live forward, fall in love again, and start a brand new relationship.
We cannot live in the past while actually living in our right now. We can't be daydreaming about the past as if it was some perfect thing and wishing it would come back for us. We need to heal, say thank you to our past, give it a great big hug and send it on it's own new journey with deep love.
I've talked with thousands....THOUSANDS of men and women around the entire world and this is it. This is how the people who actually move forward with authentic happiness and freedom.....move forward. They aren't pining for the past. If the past came back it wouldn't know them anymore. And they wouldn't know their past anymore. This is change. This is HARD TO COME TO. It's not a simple switch you click in your mind. It takes HARD HEALING WORK. Hours of therapy, spiritual mentoring, and more. This is growth. This is healing. And reading this is either going to totally piss you off, confuse you, or free you. The choice and the hard healing work is up to you.
This is true living forward.
In warm love and raging truth,